


Primi Tramonti

by accidental_damage



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: 20th Century, Immortality, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), New Jersey, Past Relationship(s), Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-09-21 05:58:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9534815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidental_damage/pseuds/accidental_damage
Summary: Time holds no meaning for Gerard. Ever since that fateful day so long ago back in his homeland, he has just...remained. Never changing in appearance nor ceasing to be nothing but a memory, he's destined be around until the world start to rot and perhaps even longer. It is the curse he chose.





	1. Sarà la morte venire

_~~~~Chapter One~~~~_

 

_Time passes by and people die...That's something Gerard has had the displeasure to learn. The worst thing about it is...is that we have no control over it. Time and time again before he learned of the consequences of the deal he made, he spent a great deal of time mourning the death of his loved ones when they all inevitably passed._

_It tore him apart inside after he accepted this and he found himself sewing himself back up one too many times. He finally had to settle at keeping himself distanced from others for fear of losing someone dear to him once again....He would have died if he could when he lost...._

_Gerard ended up leaving Italy after all of his family and their descendants had long been gone...He searched aimlessly for something he did not know...Through strange lands that threatened to overwhelm him more often than not. By and by he lost touch with what was going on in the world...Time made no difference to him anyhow. Wars came and went around him...Millions died and new centuries came....and still he was there._

_He searched and he searched till he could search no more. It was then that he chose to settle down in a small town in New Jersey. It wasn't known to many and he was instantly drawn to it. Oddly, people seemed to mind their own business. That was...good. He moved there.....and that's where he's been ever since._

Gerard tosses back dark locks from his face as he glides the thin brush down the otherwise blank canvas before tossing it to the side with a cry of frustration. It had never been so _hard_ to do a thing he loved. For almost a two decades now he hasn't had so much as a tiny bit of inspiration find him.

It's a punishment, he muses for not the first time...For what happened all those years ago....For what _he_ did. He brought it upon himself he supposes. The blame can only go to him for all of his agony...He has long since given up on blaming others for the tragedies he has been forced to face as time goes by.

In a way, though, he deserves all this pain...and really it's the only thing that can seem to keep him balanced. It's like they say, he guesses, you can learn from the pain...If you're willing that is. 

Gerard lets himself out of the scarcely used room with a pained sigh as he shuts the door for what will surely be a long, long time. Just like last time. It's a funny thing...Time really is.

He's not completely sure whether it's day or night...It doesn't matter much, he supposes. Around him, heavy curtains pulled tightly shut and antique furniture, far older than anything in this century, takes much of the space. It keeps the light out and him in. Gerard has come to find that he prefers solitude to having the company of others. There's a certain peace that comes with it along with the unlikelihood of heart crushing pain which is always a plus.

He's come to the inevitable conclusion that to be immortal is to keep to yourself lest you find yourself losing everyone you're close with...Including yourself. 

Gerard runs his fingertips along the unbelievably silky fabric of his deep crimson sofa as he makes his way towards the kitchen. He could do with a warm cup of coffee, it was always his go to drink in any situation and had been since the first time he had the pleasure of tasting it.

As his coffee machine runs at a snail's pace, he takes up a bit of reading from where he last left off. Reading has been his preferred... _activity_ for the last century or so. He's fairly sure he'll have read a good portion of the world's _known_ literature by the next one. 

Gerard drinks his coffee black without the slightest trace of sugar. It's strong and really just what he needed as he leans back, finally relaxing enough to think somewhat clearly. He doesn't know why he bothers trying any longer. It had been so, _so_ long since he had actually had been in the right frame of mind to find what he's looking for. If there was anything to begin with, that is.

Ink stains his slender fingers, standing out vividly when compared to the porcelain like colour of his skin. It had been such a long time since the sun had so much as passed over him even for a brief moment and he preferred to keep it that way. Only the moon knew of his troubles and all it had brought him.

He had no use of sunlight anyhow, finding the darkness of night familiar and calming. Years ago, before his troubles all began he might have felt differently but that person was long gone. He had no use dwelling in the past anyhow, it only dragged him down and took him back to that day. The day that started it all. 

Gerard shivers quietly and turns to the silver clock mounted on the wall; Four AM. It was as good as time as any to be awake. It had become like a second nature for him, never paying any mind to when the the sun would come and go. He slept when he could and when he couldn't....Well he carried on with his life as usual. Sleep was something of a rarity for him nowadays and with plenty of time on his hands he soon grew used to it. It was the only thing he _could_ do.

As he finished his coffee and started on another mug he figured that tonight just might be one of those times. It wasn't always obvious to him at first but soon enough he'd be out cold, he slept like the dead as ironic as that was. It'd take days for him to wake but when he did, he'd go on with the cycle until he slept again. 

He finally stands after a bit, dusting off his threadbare blue jeans and going to place his mug in the sink to be washed at a later date. After a cursory glance through his pantry he grabbed an ink pen and a notepad from the drawer. He'd have to make a list in preparation for going to the store so as to not dawdle, he always tried to spend as little time as possible around the townfolk. It wasn't often that he left home to go into town and the locals noticed. Though they didn't gossip there would still be those sideways glances; questioning and suspicious as he passed them by.

The newer families never knew any better, after all this town had never been the one to gossip but there were family lines who had been here nearly as long as he had. He had always assumed they knew something was... _wrong_ so to speak but how much they knew he could never be sure. In any case, he wasn't worried. No one really ever payed him any mind and that's how he liked to keep it. If anything most people would just take him for a recluse.

His list finished, Gerard pinned it to his refrigerator with a magnet in the shape of a milkmaid. It was just one of many that he collected over time but he grown particularly fond to this little milkmaid in the passing years. It was the very first of his collection which constantly grew in size once he left home. He always kept them to remind him of where he'd been and the fantastical places he had seen.

Gerard leans against the granite counter with a sigh that he made no attempt to suppress. His tired eyes land on the thin cotton curtains that hung over the small window by the sink, a baby blue that had faded with time but still held a note of their former glory. He slowly made his way through his unnecessarily large kitchen to the window and carefully brushed the curtains to the side.

Darkness. It was all there ever was and all there ever will be. As far as he knew it had always been that way. It was the grim truth and one humans couldn't begin to understand. After all they had their whole lives ahead of them...and only that. They knew nothing but themselves. Truth be told he had grown to despise them over the years though he knew their naivety wasn't entirely their faults.

He lets the curtains slide back into place and quickly flicks the light off before heading off towards the hallway that led his bedroom. If he was going to sleep he might as well get somewhere comfortable when it hits.

His room is darker than the rest of his home if it was possible but cozy and comfortable enough for him to spend most of his day here. He couldn't bare to go through the other rooms some days, so this had become his sanctuary. The shag carpet is soft underneath his feet but worn down with years of his pacing. The colour though had remained the same as the day it was bought, just on the darker side of garnet and the same shade as the walls. 

Gerard carefully lays back on his bed, letting his eyes shut though sleep had not overcome him yet. Perhaps it never would. He'd deal with it when the time comes but for now he was just content to lie there. He yawned quietly and wiped away tears as they prick up his eyes as a result. It shouldn't be long now. It was one of the few things he had to look forward to. The only time he had where he wasn't forced to think; to analyze the mistakes he has made over and over again until it makes him feel like he's going insane.

He would enjoy the silence while it lasted for he knew soon enough everything would return and he'd go on until....the end? If there would be one for him anyhow. He could only hold on to what little hope he has left that someday Death would have mercy on him and remove the curse he first set upon him. 

Prying his eyes open, he forces himself to slowly rise to his feet and pulls back the duvet for him to slide underneath. With numb fingers he struggles to undo the button of his jeans and pull them off his legs. After a bit he manages and lays them to the side as his eyes threaten close, his body heavy and difficult to maneuver as he crawls underneath his duvet.

Sleep overtook him before his head even hit the pillow. 

 

_E così comincia_

 


	2. Distruggere la bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished this chapter after almost two months! I'm honestly not sure if I like how this went so if anyone has any constructive criticism then feel free to share.

_~~~~~~~Chapter Two~~~~~~~_

 

Gerard woke with a start as his world seemed to fall back into place. His shirt stuck to his back with cold sweat as he sat up, staring with wide, frightened eyes into the darkness. He clenched his teeth together and shakily brushed his fingers over the right side of his neck. All there was was smooth skin and the steady thumping of his veins as blood ran through his body. 

Reassured, he fumbled for the metal chain that would turn the bedside lamp on. He pulled the chain once and panic struck up inside him as he gave it a tug once again, for one hysterical moment he was sure the light would not come and it would find him sure enough...Dark and suffocating in a way he'd give anything to never experience again for the rest of his eternal life. With one last pull and a gasp, the light shone from the small lamp illuminating most of the room.

It had seemed so... _Real_. He still felt the ghost impressions on his neck as he shoved the duvet back from his overly heated body and ran a hand through his thick, tangled hair with a wince. Reasonably there was nothing to be frightened by but there were still that inkling of unadulterated fear that sat deep inside his stomach as he looked around the dim room cautiously. He was completely alone and yet he couldn't shake the feeling there was something amiss.

Gerard shook his head and sighed quietly. There was no need to go looking for answers where he wouldn't find them. Some questions, he had found, were better left alone. It would fade away soon enough anyways and he'd be left with the barest impression of what went on while he slept.

It had always been that way.

 

{}{}{}

 

As time went on Gerard grew restless, tossing and turning as if it would somehow give him the peace he searched for. His body ached as he shifted on the large bed and reluctantly sat up with a noise of discomfort. Times like these were always difficult, the ache in his bones always reminding him of just how old he really was. Far older than anyone had the right to be.

For him, it was nothing new. It was an endless cycle, one he had grown used to over the years. Scarcely did he find something he had yet to come across and when he did...Well it was just one more thing to add to the insanity that was his life. If one could call this 'life' that is. He'd come to doubt if this could really be considered living and instead was a form of punishment dealt out in response to his foolishness centuries ago. 

Whether he had been justly treated or not was best left up for debate. It made no difference anyhow. The past could not be altered and if it could who's to say he would not make the same mistake as before? He had no way of knowing the events that would unfold as a result of his thoughtless deal, no way of knowing he'd be forced to live through his immortality completely alone. He'd given up everything and in return was cast to the side like something particularly vile. In the end, it had been all for nothing.

Gerard sucked in a deep breath before setting his feet down on the carpeted floor and shakily standing. He took a moment to steady himself and started towards the door. He was already anticipating a _long_ , warm shower to help him clear his head. 

At the end of the hall was the bathroom, next to the room that held all his art supplies and paintings made long ago. Memories that would be left to gather dust until he could find it in himself to try again. Try, try, _try_. Until he could no more.

As Gerard entered the bathroom his eyes flitted to the long, spotless mirror that hung over the left wall; surrounded by seashell pink wallpaper that had begun to peel since it had been applied some twenty yearsago. In the mirror, his reflection stared back him. He rubbed at his eyes, fingers coming away black from the splashes of ink marring his otherwise perfectly smooth, pallid skin. Underneath the ink, purplish bags had formed from his lack of sleep. He- He looked like...He tore his eyes away from the mirror with a noise of distress and turned away from it, not able to see himself any longer. 

It wasn't him....Not anymore. In the mirror he saw that same foolish _boy_ that let himself get caught up in something far greater than he could even imagine. Though it appeared to be so, he was not that boy anymore. Only his eyes seemed to reflect how old he really was and all the knowledge the years had brought him. He'd seen things, _horrific_ acts of violence against other human beings and for what? It was all meaningless, half-brained attempts at control which they would not live to see fail. The clueless boy he had once been could never begin to understand. 

Gerard closed his eyes for a moment to gather himself before opening them once again and coming to the side of claw footed tub. He fiddled with the knobs until he got the temperature just right and took a step back to give the water time to heat. He made quick work of removing his remaining clothing and tossing them in clothing bin. 

The water is blissfully warm against his skin as he steps in. It's a pleasant change to the generally tepid temperature his home always seemed to hold, never varying in even the slightest way. He sighed quietly, reaching for the vanilla scented shampoo he favoured. It's scent nearly overwhelmed him as he lathered the shampoo through his hair which had needed a good washing for the longest time. 

There were some perks to being alive in this age, he supposes. As trivial as they were, they made this _life_ easier in some aspects though in the end they were often overshadowed by the negative. Some did not even factor in when it came to such things. 

It was best that he kept his mind on other things though these thoughts had come to plague him in the recent days.

His skin felt silky as he washed off the remaining body wash. A heavenly mix of rose and vanilla filled the air and he took a deep breath, glad for the scent of something other the ever present smell of paint and what might've been mildew that lingered throughout. Underneath the shower head he stood motionless, just letting the water beat down on him. Finally, after a while he forced himself to turn the knobs to the right and step out onto the cerulean coloured bath mat. As much as he'd like he couldn't stay in the bath all day long, there was still much to do and the water hadn't been long from going cold anyways.

He wrings his hair out carefully with a plain white towel and wraps it around his waist before heading off back to his bedroom to dress. As he enters he comes to realise he left the light on as he slept, still frantic from some lurid 'dream'. It gives him just enough to search through his dresser for something suitable to wear into town. He settles on a well worn grey sweater, comfortable and warm enough for pre winter weather, and a pair of black pants that had come to feel like a second skin.

Gerard dresses rather slowly, preoccupied by all the thoughts swirling through his mind along with a sense of dread that has already filled him at the prospect of going into town. As unavoidable as it may be, it didn't help ease that reoccurring feeling in the pit of his stomach that called for him to just give in and stay home. To let himself waste away to nothingness.

He hisses lowly and snatches his hand away from his boots. Pain thumps steadily through his ankle where it had been caught by the zipper of his leather boots. Deep in his thoughts, he had not been paying attention to anything but what had been going on in his mind. It was not often he'd do something as idiotic as this and with good reason. If he looks closely he swears he can see a spot of bright red on his off white socks and has to look away for just a moment to keep his nausea suppressed. Carefully, he finishes zipping up his boots and tucks his keys into the pocket opposite of the one in which he kept his wallet.

Taking one last look around his room, he flicks off the lamp and closes the door behind him. He takes what remains of his coffee from earlier and pours it in a thermos to take along. Despite his reluctance of going into town it could still take a while till he would be able to get home and stay far, _far_ away from all of _them_. 

Heavy, dark clouds filled the dreary blue-grey sky that hung over his head, the threat of rain evident as he hurried on to his car, a Chevrolet Impala he'd bought new. The cool breeze that swayed the Red Oak trees from side to side felt nice even with that hint of cold that already hung in the air but he knew well that it was only a shadow of what was to come. He'd have to make this trip quick lest he get caught in what would surely be a consuming storm to come. 

With that in mind, Gerard set off down his seemingly endless driveway and pulled out onto the empty road ahead of him.

 

{}{}{}

 

Gerard surveyed the front of the small store with a guarded expression, years of practice allowing him to seem as unapproachable as he could possibly be. His basket was heavy in his hand and part of him longed to set it down but he payed no mind to it. Not long after he had arrived others began to fill the store, whole families with their sticky fingered children crowded up the aisles making this trip even more difficult than usual. 

With the two lines filled, he chose to stand in the background and wait for one to clear up. The last thing he needed was to stuck in the slightest amount of space with people surrounding him at every turn. He took the top off of the thermos and drained the last of his now lukewarm coffee, even with the additional energy he wasn't entirely sure he could handle this for much longer. 

He watched as an extraordinarily large woman payed for a small bundle of bananas and what appeared to be canned tuna. His facade temporarily cracked as disgust flickered into his expression as he watched her fluff up her badly permed hair and bat her eyes at the clearly horrified employee. 

Not daring to approach just yet, he waited until she had moved safely out of the way before he made his way to the newly empty checkout counter. He sat his basket on the very end of the conveyor belt and silently began to place his items on it. The employee, a scrawny boy of no more than sixteen years at the most, was still tense from his encounter with that horrid woman but seemed relieved to find him instead of another just like the one before.

"Find everything okay?"He inquired, his voice deep but hoarse as if he had spent the entire day screaming. His tone was dull; emotionless you could say as if it didn't really register to him what he was saying.

"Perfectly." Gerard replied smoothly and said nothing more. Remarkably his voice only held the slightest scratch to it, hinting at its disuse. Even after all these years his accent remained, distinct and far too discernable for him to ever be at ease among the crowds of people. 

The employee- Brian according to his name tag- barely seemed to be listening as he went on scanning Gerard's groceries at a snail's pace as if there weren't _many_ other people starting to pile into this line. His heart beat seemed to grow faster as he caught of glimpse of it and as it grew longer the very next person seemed to get closer, a heavily sunburnt woman who smelled of hairspray and cheap perfume that smacked her gum loudly and sighed every few seconds. 

By the time the cashier had finished scanning the last of them, he had the money clenched in his shaking hand. Gerard shoved the money over and grabbed his bags quickly, willing himself to just make it outside the store. He didn't bother to even check for his receipt, only thinking of his empty bed at home and how he longed to crawl inside already. To lose himself for a while and lay there in the maddening silence. 

The parking lot was mostly empty when he exited the hot, stuffy store and the cool breeze was a relief as he walked preoccupiedly in the direction of his car. A panicked cry escaped his lips as something collided with him, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he fell to the ground along with his bags. Dust flew everywhere, filling his lungs and stinging eyes. 

Beside him, the unfortunate soul who dared to collide with him bawled hysterically," Help, oh Sweet Jesus, help!"

As Gerard struggled to his feet, he took in the appearance of the person in question. It was nothing more than an elderly woman, thinning grey hair sitting just above her wrinkled, makeup caked face and a 'World's Best Nonna' shirt. He ignored her bawling for the moment and dusted off his clothing, taking the time to gather up his bags. It was then that he turned to her and gingerly extended a hand to help her up. She grabbed it immediately and he could barely stop himself from cringing away from the feeling of her leathery skin against his. 

Her hands were unexpectedly strong, a futile fight it was to try and loosen her ironclad grip on his. Despite this, he attempted to pull away in his alarm and the unmistakable taste of stomach acid in his throat at her very touch. Her breath smelled vaguely like mint, as if she had perhaps been chewing gum not long ago. The scent alone was enough to make him gag but there was something else that hung in the air as she forcibly pulled him away. He knew if he were to look in a mirror right now his face would appear ashen and sickly.

"Help, She needs help!" The woman cried out, her tone near shrieking level as if he was not just a few feet away. As he looked up, he realised she was pulling him behind the store. Who was this ' _she_ ' she spoke of? 

There was no time for Gerard to demand an explanation as she dragged him behind the store- where others had surely seen him being carried off- where a crowd of people had gathered around in a circle with only quiet sobbing to help him understand what was truly going on. The stench of death was thick in the air, a vile blend of ash and decay. There was something else too...something particularly sickening lingered underneath it all. Foul and rotten in the worst possible way, hints of mildew and wet earth that had been sealed away for the longest time were evident through it all. 

Gerard stilled suddenly, staring into the crowd of people apprehensively. It was familiar...Far too familiar to be a coincidence. He swallowed hard and took a step forward, his heart racing as he weaved his way through the crowd of people. For a split second his emotions were displayed clearly upon his face, unabashed loathing and agony at the sight before him. A petite girl of little more than eighteen years was sprawled out on the mud caked ground, if it were no for her extraordinary stillness she'd appear to be sleeping. Her heavily painted face stood out garishly bright against the unnatural, waxen form of her skin giving her the startling appearance of a painted doll. 

Gerard knew if he were to look at her neck he would find two small puncture wounds, unnoticeable to the untrained eye. It was sloppy work...Too chaotic to belong to anyone but an amateur. The younglings never seemed to learn. He took a deep breath through his nose and stepped back as quietly as he possible could. It was best he left before anything could become of this.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he hurried away from crowd with his head carefully down. His hair, just on the short side of medium length, obscured his face just enough to prevent anyone from identifying him at anytime. He had grown rather comfortable in his secluded home and to have to leave it would be a great shame. It had been far too long since he wandered the Earth aimlessly, cursed to search for a place in a world that was not his own. Even now he knew it was not a life he wanted to return to. 

Here, at least, he had a home to call his own and did not have to worry where his next meal would come from. Here the threat of waking to calloused hands upon his slender body was nonexistent, no longer did he fear the moment when he would inevitably open his eyes and find them on top of him; heavy and stinking of liquor. In this place, he had something that resembled peace and that was all he could realistically hope for. 

Gerard snapped to attention as the very beginning of rain hit, so bitterly cold his teeth chattered. He hitched his bags higher up on his forearms before he grudgingly began to run. The sky was almost entirely dark, approximately the colour of charcoal. He shook violently as thunder cracked over head, his calves burning as he grew closer and closer to his car. His hair absolutely plastered to his head and his mind momentarily blank, it did not strike him at first that his door was ajar. He frowned but did not put anymore thought into it as he threw his bags into the backseat and climbed into his car, thankful to at least be out of the rain though his seat would most likely be soaked by the time he reached his driveway.

Through the vacant streets he drove, struggling to see in the darkness with only his headlights lighting the way. Despite his eagerness to be home far away from this town and it's damning drama, he knew in this weather it was best to be cautious. Even with the streets as they were, it would do him no good if he were to somehow hit _something_ along the seemingly endless road that led to his house. It could never been known what was to pop up. In his time here he has come across many curious creatures though more often than not they only seemed to be passing through- to his knowledge anyways. 

The moment he caught sight of his driveway it felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest and he could now finally breathe. Though his anxiety did not lessen, it was better now that he was on familiar ground.

Once inside, Gerard is quick to strip off his soggy clothing and place them in the bathtub where he is not likely to forget them. They'd have to be washed soon if he did not want them to mildew. After drying off he changes into a pair of carmine coloured checkered pajama pants and a plain grey shirt with a minuscule rip in the sleeve that could possibly be considered the newest items in his wardrobe. Though everything seems to be in order he leaves the room rather quickly, only stopping to turn on his bedside lamp as a reminder.

In the kitchen, he puts a pot of coffee on to brew while he puts away the groceries. He puts more care in this work than usual, willing his mind to stay only focus on it. What happened today...It had absolutely nothing to do with him and by involving himself he'd only be looking for trouble. Those types came through here all the time, more often than not leaving a body or two in their wake. It was almost an unspoken rule of their unnatural world that you did not involve yourself in other's business. Gerard did not belong to any world, human nor supernatural, but he knew well enough what rules were to be followed if he wanted remain the same.

Gerard jerks as a burning pain shoots up his leg and he is sent stumbling, his hipbone connecting with the counter as he grabs blindly for something to catch himself on. Instead he lands on the floor with a dull thud, his vision swimming in and out of darkness as he struggles to comprehend. He closes his eyes for a moment and opens them again, though still spotty his vision was clearer than before. At his feet lies the culprit, a smashed jar of preserves that he had surely dropped while preoccupied. _This_ was exactly what he was trying to avoid. He did not this already grim 'life' of his shaken out of balance again.

Shakily, he rises to his feet and finds the necessary items to clean up his mess. Once all the glass had painstakingly cleared away, he sets about putting everything else away, lest he have another unfortunate accident. By the time he has finished the coffee is completely done and seems to smell better than usual if it was possible. It's only when his stomach growls that he realises the ache that is ever present, and with good reason. It was common for him to go a day or two without eating, his mind often on other matters. Setting the thermos to the side, he decides simply on a slice of toast and jam to tide him over till morning.

When it is finished, he starts towards the living room with everything in hand. He moves to sit on the end of the sofa but stops abruptly and takes a step back. Instead he takes the cotton blanket that resides on the wine coloured armchair most days and wraps it around him securely. All set, he heads for the door.

It was not often that he enjoyed the night air and even less with the weather in such a state. If he were to really think hard on it, he could not honestly say what brought on the decision but he soon found it to be a rather fine one. He claimed a spot on the porch swing as his own, where he could get the clearest view of the open land around him and the woods where in the daytime it seemed to be night. He nibbled on the edge of his marmalade covered toast and sipped on his steaming coffee. It scalded his lips and burned his throat going down but by now, it was something he had long grown used to. It was a familiar feeling and one he welcomed in times like these.

As nice as it seemed, it did him no good. The events of today seemed intent on haunting him, perhaps even for the rest of his time here. The very image of that poor girl's lifeless body was burned into his mind like a curse he could not possibly get rid of. But why? Why him after all these years? It was tragic, yes, but it had happened many times here. There was nothing special about this girl, not that he could see. Others, humans who would not spend even half as long on this wretched planet as he had, would feel guilt over her death and wonder if there was something they could have done but he had long grown apathetic to the death of others. Let them lose sleep over her but how could he be plagued with these thoughts when he was not involved in the slightest bit?

Gerard stared out into the purplish-blue night sky, the stars only tiny dots among the vastness. To him, it seemed, that you could get lost up there if you tried. Hide among the stars and just never come down again. He went tense in a matter of minutes, his plate clattering onto the wooden floor as he stood. It hit him like a bag of bricks, seemingly coming out of nowhere. He could feel _it_  looming in the distance, not quite here yet no true form or reality but that could quickly change. This distinct impression it gave him, so inescapably sinister and convoluted, was enough to tell him that whatever was behind it was powerful...Far greater than anything he'd ever known. 

He shifts his gaze to the woods that surrounded the land leading up to his house. He narrows his eyes but begins to gather up his things to take inside. By morning it would hopefully have moved on, perhaps to only take shape but solely time would tell. Whatever the case may be, he would not interfere if it was at all possible. It was just as likely nothing would come of it anyhow. 

In the end, it would never affect him anyways. He had learned his lesson centuries ago that playing with forces far greater than himself would only end in tragedy. It had always been this way but for him, it had been just too late and he payed the price that night.

He lost everything.

 

_La vita non è ciò che sembra_

 


	3. I sogni sono solo illusioni

_~~~~~~~Chapter Three~~~~~~_

 

Silence settled around him everywhere he went, heavy and uncomfortable in ways he'd never seen before. It disturbed any illusion of calm he had and only made his anxiety grow to dangerous heights. He only wished to forget...To forget all that had happened in these last few nights but it seemed that what he wished meant nothing. It constantly sat in the front of his mind where he could not hide from it no matter how hard he tried, how awful it truly was to long to escape from his very own mind. He could only wait it out and perhaps  _hope_  for it to leave him be eventually though he was less than optimistic.

Time had shown often enough it would not likely twist in his favour if it could be prevented. He had seen  _its_ ' power in action many times, controlling fate itself perhaps. It was obvious to him that he would not succeed and times like these only served as a reminder to all those times...When he lost control and his life perished right before his eyes.

There were many things from his past he'd do well to forget but this he would always live with the guilt until the end of days. Relive that night over and over, the pain and hurt cutting into him so deep he was sick with it. 

Gerard smashed the lit end of his cigarette into the pale grey, ceramic ashtray and stared out the window with dull eyes. To the west the sun was setting, through the thick clouds the sky brilliant shades of orange, red, and a deep purple that seemed to swirl and combine. He turned away, disgusted with it all, and caught sight of the smoke still rising from his home rolled cigarette. Sighing deeply, he closed his eyes and ran an ink stained hand over his feverish face. He yearned to be away...Away from all of  _this_. His mind calm and his life free from these  _nightmares_  that seemed to haunt his every waking moment.

What was to come was unknown- and it frightened him. In all his years he had not come across something like this, dark and far more powerful than what seemed possible for even the supernatural beings who roamed this world taking what they want and whenever without fear. It was obvious to him now that whatever it was, was the cause of his perpetual state of paranoia and unease. Whether this was knowingly cast upon him or not did not matter, for whatever reason it had chosen to manifest in such a way that even he was picking up on its effect. 

His hands trembled faintly as he picked up his nearly empty mug and brought it up to his lips. He took a sip of the coffee, finding it cold and tasting strongly of ash. He forced the mouthful down and let the mug fall from his hands back onto the table, coffee sloshing from side to side threateningly but did not dare to tip over. He thought it quite possible that any little thing could be it. Could push him over the edge, to the point of no return as they always said.

It was what happened. Mere humans could understand the concept of insanity even if they did not know what it meant for them let alone what it truly was for things similar to him. 

Once your mind was gone there was no turning back, soon enough it would come to consume you whole and there would be nothing left but an imprint of who you once were. He had been unfortunate enough to witness it many years ago before the war.

It had been a child, of all things. No more than ten years of age and with a quiet demeanor that frightened all. His eyes were that of a wild animal and soon the unwitting villagers rumoured that to look at those damning eyes would curse you and your family name forever, for they believed him to be demonic in nature. 

Gerard had come across him in one of the many inns he frequented during his travels. He had been the unfortunate object of the boy's attention, it seemed, as the child would sit under the tables and screech in such an awful tone that reminded him greatly of a feral beast when he came near. His ankle still bore a scar where he had been bitten by the child. In those days he had been quite good natured about it, just chuckled quietly and went on to bed thinking nothing of it.

By mid-morning the boy was found dead under the counter of a nearby pub. His fingers were nothing more than bloodied stubs and what little was left of his face was never recovered but everyone knew just as well who it was. 

Gerard rose to his feet with a groan, his bones creaking and popping with every move he made. He took one last glimpse out the small window, the forest only a silhouette among the darkness before he stumbled across the dimly lit kitchen and closed the curtains once more. They hung limply, as if they had somehow given up along the way and he is forced to look away. His stomach seemed to curl in on its self and he swallowed hard, feeling as if there is a lump in his throat as he looked around the room grimly.

He could feel it rising up inside him, threatening to spill over at any moment. No matter how much he delayed it- he always lost control in the end and it would all come crumbling down around him. Eventually he would be left to pick up the shattered remains and attempt to keep them them together, whole no longer until the cycle just repeated itself again and again and  _again_. 

He sucked in a shaky breath and left the kitchen in search of the vague sense of calm his room always brought him. If only it would do him good tonight. 

Everything he once found solace in seemed to be fading- would soon be gone and there would be nothing to delay the outcome. Perhaps... this was what was meant for him after all. To be driven mad by the inevitable and guilt he harboured because of  _it_. That was it, wasn't it? He was cursed from the very moment he faced the embodiment of Death. He had twisted fate and so it struck back at him. It was the only thing that seemed to make sense to him anymore in this insane world he had inhabited for nearly six centuries.

The air around him is uncomfortably cool as he entered his dark bedroom. He shivered in spite of himself and closed the door behind him before beginning to feel his way through the darkness with only vague shapes to guide him. The chain to his lamp feels like ice in his bare palm but as the warm toned light illuminated the room he could almost forget it. Around him were piles in varying degrees of disarray, clothing and books the majority as he, at first, had begun to race around looking desperately for an answer to all of  _this._  Something that could justify the weight he felt upon him. He now knew just as well there would be no answer to be had. There never was.

His legs gave way and he collapsed onto his unmade bed with a sigh of exhaustion. Everything was off these days. Even the cycles he had come to live by did not follow its usual path, becoming almost erratic and difficult to understand. His eyes slid shut and he made no effort to do anything but lie there among the mass of woolen blankets that always found their way to his bed in the winter months. They were without a doubt old but well woven and had stood against the tests of time, not only warm but by far much softer than that of which they used when he was but a child.

_The acrid scent of smoke was thick in the air as he weaved his way through the crowded streets. A ragged book bound by a scrap of discarded ribbon was held close to his chest, almost protectively. He coughed harshly into his clenched fist as the smells grew stronger, the smoke now just barely visible from the very spot in which he stood. It almost seemed as if it was coming from-_

_No, it couldn't possibly be. But he began to run just the same. He could his heart thumping in his ears and his breathing grew shaky and uneven as he passed the cathedral by. The smoke grew thicker and darker the closer he was and he stomach churned uneasily. A large group of townsfolk had crowded around the burnt remains of their home._

_His book dropped down into a pile of ashes but he barely noticed as he pushed his way through the crowd where a soot covered man lay in the dirt, seemingly unaware to the damage just behind him and the greatly burned corpses that has been dragged from the fire. He made a strangled noise and backed away, making it just barely away from the crowd before he fell to his knees and-_

A shrill scream breaks him from his nightmare. He let out a weak sob and scrambled frantically out from the consuming darkness that lay over him. His skin felt as if it were boiling off his bones and his brain was little more than goo inside of his skull. The light settled over him and he made a noise of relief. He wiped at his face with the back of his hand and flinched at the startling wetness upon contact. 

Gerard drew his hand back and wiped it carelessly against one of the many blankets that surrounded him. Could it possibly be? Despite all odds it truly seemed so. In his restless fit of sleep he had begun to cry. Cry for the home he lost so many years ago...and his loved ones that perished with it. A tear slipped down his damp cheek and landed just above his collarbone. He could still see their faces when he closed his eyes, joyful and forever young in a way he could never be. So many mistakes of his past haunted him these days...but this was the one that would stick with him till the very end.

They had lost their lives because of  _his_  foolish mistake. If only he had known then perhaps...things would be different. But nothing could change the past no matter how much he'd like to, it was time that he remembered that. It seemed that no matter how much he repeated it, how long it ran through his head like a broken record he could never begin to accept it. This was just the way things were. He had already twisted his fate once, there was no use in making things worse.

His skin prickled with sensitivity as he pushed the blankets away from his body and set his feet on the floor. The weather seemed to grow worse and worse as it got to be later in the year, his home becoming almost as cool as the outside world. It was almost out of habit that he took a blanket approximately the colour of hickory and wrapped it securely around his slumped shoulders. The quickly falling temperature wouldn't kill him should he spend a night in the late winter snow that was soon to come but would instead make him intensely miserable. He'd always found the bitterly cold weather of the later months to be rather disagreeable.

Gerard takes slow steps through the darkness in an attempt not to break any of the few delicate items displayed throughout his home, his fingers running along the floral printed wallpaper until he reached the end of the hallway. A small amount of light seemed to shine out from his living room and he stopped suddenly, frowning before he carefully began again. He fell back startled, tripping over coffee table onto the dusty wool rug. His curtains gaped open illuminating the room with the soft moonlight, outside snow tumbled down barely a shadow in comparison to its dark background.

His mind raced and he felt almost sick as a realisation came over him. Someone had been in his house. Something had broke into  _his_  house. But for what? At first glance nothing seemed to be missing but he'd have to check back thoroughly when he was of a sounder mind. He sniffed uncertainly at the air and choked, backing away into the kitchen where the darkness was whole and all consuming.

An old one had been here. There was only but wisp; a hint of cinnamon and smoke but he knew just as well. They'd been born into the Undead centuries before he had even been an idea in the grand scale of things. Ancient when he had been young. There weren't many left on this world, that he knew for sure, but he'd know that scent anywhere. A faint whiff of mildew hung underneath as if an afterthought, barely noticeable if you did not think to search for it.

All it brought to his mind was  _why_. Why after all these years would one come here- the very place many of their kind avoided after the war. He had thought his home a sanctuary against all- human and the supernatural alike. Many knew of him, it seemed, but no one dared to take so much as a step on the land and he was left to himself save a rare visit from the residential wolf pack. Until tonight. 

As much as it pained him he could feel it deep down in his bones. This was nothing in the scheme of it all, not to them. He didn't know exactly- not yet but something monumental was to come. Something that could change the very existence in which he lived for the worse. The world he'd built for himself in this little house would soon be gone and he thought that  _that_  was quite possibly the worst of it all. 

It was the only thing he had left, holding all the precious memories of times far past. Of people who were little less than ash.

 

_Una lunga vita persa_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler chapter but still important! I'd also like to mention this chapter takes place almost a month after the last one hence the weather. Just a warning this fic is going to go by fairly quick as I've only planned on maybe thirteen chapters at the most.


	4. Queste menzogne vinceranno

_~~~~~Chapter Four~~~~~_

Gerard unwrapped the charcoal coloured scarf from around his neck and began to dust snow off his coat, teeth chattering and his body still trembling from the harsh cold. He let his coat fall to the floor and began to search through the small leather satchel he carried. Onto the coffee table he threw the local newspaper with a huff.

Five bodies had been found since the very first, their throats torn out and all but two completely drained of their life force. The two left relatively untouched were found together with their wrists bound and tied a thick branch just big enough to hold their weight. A symbol had been painted onto the huge Oak tree with their onyx blood. A warning to the pack it seemed; _stay far away or you will have the same._ It was evident they were worried the wolves would involve themselves when they came to find that the humans of their land were being killed by a natural enemy. Whoever it was had made a grave mistake in killing members of the pack. It was the surest way to a painful and prolonged death at the hands of their leader.

He licked his cracked lips and winced, making a note of finding the aloe lotion he kept for the winters. The intense winds during this time were always unusually harsh on his skin despite his natural aversion to the outside world and the creatures it held. It was just one of those 'things' that didn't follow the unspoken rules that controlled the lawlessness that prevailed long before he had become a little less than human.

He allowed himself to collapse onto the sagging cushions of the couch and took a deep breath. The air around him was just as cold as outside but at least it didn't have that awful scent to it anymore. It had seemed to linger and spread long after the intrusion, going as far as the hallway just outside his bedroom. He could barely walk through his own home without feeling the urge to empty the contents of his stomach onto the scuffed floors. No scented candle or opened window could do away with it and finally he was forced to seek refuge in the only room it had not penetrated.

Things had been just as he left them almost a year ago to this very day. Paintings strewn every which way and the smell of turpentine and charcoal intertwined was almost overwhelmingly sickening in itself but had been better than the thoughts conjured up by what lingered in every other corner and crevice in what was once his sanctuary. A thick layer of dust had begun to accumulate in the passing months on every surface it could find purchase, partially obscuring the paintings that lay scattered on the floor almost recklessly. Only one sat against the yellowed walls, placed carefully behind the mess where it could not be harmed.

His heart had tightened in his chest and as he fought back tears the ache only grew. It always did. His dear brother deserved better than to waste away in this dreadful little room where everything he held close went to grow dust and eventually fade away, losing any hint of meaning it once had for him. It was only a painting, his likeness only superficial but it was all that was left of him...His body and soul had died long ago in that pitiful shack they called home.

It was his last connection to the world he once knew. To the family he left behind when he agreed to what would soon become his curse. Perhaps it was even _because_ of them that it had become so or at least partially. Their lives had been cut short by his asinine ideas of how the world worked and so he would someday have to confront the guilt of his actions or let it consume him whole and forever relive that day in his head until he eventually was no more.

Gerard made a soft noise of distress and sat up uneasily. How did he ever come to this? A sniveling mess waiting for his end to finally find him. Stuck in this everlasting cycle of self pity and a deep guilt for something he could not have possibly known. He should have, should have realised things were never as they appear and to back out before it was too late, but he didn't and that was that. Despite that he knew deep down inside that he would have taken the deal anyways. He had always been too idealistic; honestly believing there were ways to change the violent ways of his earthly companions and that good could be found in all.

Had he honestly believed that his beloved would forgive him for his unfortunate immortality and would welcome him with open arms? So much of his past misconceptions seemed amazingly foolish looking back now and so simple to avoid if only he hadn't been so blind. It was the fault of many humans, unable to see anything but what they already knew and assumed that everything would be just the same. He'd been just the same as them...but now he knew better than to believe such nonsense. The world couldn't be saved from the violence that ails so many. He'd seen the outcome of their meaningless conflict and it never ended well. Sometimes the world just wasn't worth saving.

He stood with a weary sigh and began the walk back to his bedroom. What little light lit the way was dim and weak to the point he had to squint just to see the vaguest shapes but he didn't mind. He favoured the darkness on grim days like these, it allowed for the deep contemplation that captured him so often. It was almost as if he were alone. Completely and totally alone.

Gerard stopped at his door and turned to look down the narrow hallway into the absence at the other end. There seemed to be nothing...nothing at all but even he knew that appearances could be deceiving. He mumbled incoherently to himself and entered the room. He slipped his leather boots off and set them aside to be put away with everything else when he could find it in himself to do something of worth.

It'd be nice to step outside himself for once- at least for a little while. To just forget the mess that he had somehow managed to involve himself in and go about his day...like he used to before everything had grown even more complicated than it had already been. It was as if trouble found him wherever he went and had become almost inescapable ever since that very moment so long ago.

For once in his miserable existence he just wanted to be and let the world go on without him. To stay here gathering dust like the paintings in the backroom and be a distant memory. A relic of a past that was no more.

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There was a face. Just barely a blur amongst the Red Oak trees, the murky brown and hints of faded green obscured what small bit could be seen but it was enough. It was little more than a speck of white, not so out of place it'd seem if not for its eyes. Two black pin marks standing out finely against its ashen skin, a deep contrast to that around them.

Someone had taken to the woods just outside his home, hoping the thick masses of trees would keep it hidden or perhaps that he would have absolutely horrific eyesight and allow them to spy on his life...on _him._ What would be the point? In his time here no one had come for a call or seemed to want to. He kept to himself and the others knew well enough to stay far away. After all these years...why now? Why take an interest in him _now._

His cup fell from his hands onto the wooden flooring and broke into jagged shards, coating the bottom half of his bare legs in a mixture of coffee and cream. He gasped and groped blindly across the side table for the napkin that once held his scone. He lowered himself onto the porch swing which swayed and creaked from the sudden addition of his weight to its already fragile state. His hands shook uncontrollably as he began to clean the quickly drying coffee from his legs as well as he could.

How had things come to this? To the creatures around him nothing was more important than keeping peace between all even those that were considered enemies since the dawn of time itself. There was movement among the trees and he went tense, his eyes darting up to the gap in which he'd last seen the face. There he found that it was no more. Everything was just the same as it always was, not even the winds finding something amiss in the land surrounding his house.

Despite this, he knew just the same. He'd always figured it would happen someday, that they'd grow tired of hiding in the shadows and would decide that the best course of action would be to attack. There had been attempts at war by some of the young all through the years but they'd been wiped out and made an example of often enough so that others would be well warned of the consequences lest you choose to break the rules of their world. The rules were set in place for the benefit of all creatures, even human though they did not know of any world other than their own....They could never know.

He'd seen the outcome many times and each time it always ended same. Pitiful begging from the human as their suffering only grew before their inevitable demise at their own hands or that of what was once their companion. The vampires in particular seemed to take great joy in human companions though they knew well the tragedies it caused. After all the humans had no true understanding of forever. Sometimes forever can be only a second to their kind. It was always the old ones that took to the humans, thirsting for the life they never had...At least that's what Gerard believed. He'd known one of them once that is in the vaguest sense possible. He'd been a naive humans like all the rest; truly believing that his love was eternal and not just amusement for the one who thought of him as little more than a plaything like all others.

Gerard rested his warm face against his hands and took a slow, even breath. Things were getting out of hand already and what was to come was still in the not so distant future. Even the locals were beginning to suspect something was amiss and as far as humans go...Well they tend to not see what's right in front of them. The severity of this situation was made only all the more obvious by the fact the humans weren't so clueless this time. Too true it was that they didn't know of the creature that stalked their people and slaughtered them one by one, draining their life force to stay in a perpetual state between life and death, but they understood well enough that people from their very own little town were dying in suspicious circumstances.

There would surely be more bodies found within the month and soon they'd grow curious about the deaths...They would begin investigations and if they happen to find what they're looking for? It would only make this whole situation even more complicated than it already was. Their intrusion was the last thing that was needed in this time of crisis...Something would have to be done about these rogue younglings.

It seemed that fate would have him involved in this whether he thought it unnecessary or not. He had done nothing to warrant such an implication but it seemed that it didn't matter anymore. Staying to himself, out of the trivial conflicts of others seemed impossible at this point. All he asked was to be left to himself and have complete solitude. He'd had enough with the others and their pathetic bickering to last him the rest of what was sure to be a long lifetime.

Gerard tucked the longest of his fringe securely behind his ear and began to gather the stray pieces of the broken mug to be thrown away. He hisses abruptly and jerks his hand away for a moment, drops of crimson blood welling up from a superficial cut on tips of his fingers. They'd have to be bandaged when he reached the inside and found his way to the bathroom.

He rises to his feet, the remains of the mug carefully wrapped in the napkin. A dark stain growing steadily on its off white white surface as he took one last look at the forest surrounding him, his eyes coming to rest on the unoccupied clearing for what seemed an eternity before returning the mahogany door in front of him. His fingers ached with a kind of deep pain that he always associated with the feel of being stabbed by a decidedly dull, rusted blade.

Despite the unseasonably warm weather, his skin prickled uncomfortably and he felt a shiver creeping up his spine. Without looking back he reached out to grab the brass knob and found it unexpectedly cool to the touch. He sucked in an unsteady breath before turning it cautiously, his heart beat quickening as he flung it open revealing the unlit inside. The scent of ash was almost overwhelming. His unease only grew as he passed through the threshold and flicked on the light. His eyes went wide with horror as let out an anguished sob and fell to his knees, the pain barely noticeable as the dark ash coated his pasty skin. His hands trembled severely as he stared down lifelessly at all the ash.

The urn laid not three feet away, a long jagged crack down its polished surface and the top shattered into millions of pieces. Warm tears had begun to flow down his cheeks, a lump growing in his throat as he crawled to it and rested his wounded hand on its slick side. His dear brother tossed on the floor like common filth...like..like.. Who could have done this? Who could have _known?_ There was not a soul left in the world who could possibly know what became of his dear brother, Michael.

There was no one. No one at all.

_Il mio ultimo respiro sarà per il tuo_

 


	5. La luce era una menzogna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this ending but I'm going upload this chapter in spite of that. 
> 
> I'd also like to mention how sorry I am in regards to how late this chapter is. I've had a difficult time working on the ending for this and the next chapter won't take nearly as long.

_~~~~~~Chapter Five~~~~~~~_

The cool wind blew harshly as the rain began to pick up, the multicoloured wind chimes tossed every which way and the sound almost erratic as the rain was blown into his face. Thunder roared above him but he remained in place, eyes closed and his body relaxing as the storm raged around him. He allowed himself not to think, just let the storm rip away all his concerns and consume them whole as he waited for the end.

They'd come to him soon enough. All there was left to do was...wait. Let time pass him by like it did, leaving him virtually untouched by its merciless grasp.

{}{}{}

The midday sky was a soft shade of azure, only a backdrop to the massive cumulus clouds that inhabited it. They blocked out much of the harsh light filtering down from the sun, allowing him to gaze up into the vast skies above him without burning his eyes. These were strange times for him...strange times indeed. Months ago, before this all began he'd spend every waking minute in what had once been his sanctuary. He had not dared to go out into the day without a direct purpose and even then it had been a struggle. The night had been his shelter from all that hid in the unfamiliar world around him, outside of time and all that troubled him.

How trivial his difficulties from months ago seemed now that things were finally coming to head. In spite of everything he'd gone through over the centuries he had never expected to ever again become involved in the affairs of others. He'd settled on this land years ago with the exact purpose of total seclusion and keeping far away from the agony that came with the connections he inevitably made. They would all eventually pass on, leaving him alone once more...To waste away as his years grew.

Gerard closed Les Misérables, his reading material as of late, with a thin slip of colourful cardstock to mark his progress and began to watch intently. Somewhere above him the guttural croak of a raven could be heard, especially distinct against its muted background. Everything seemed as if it were frozen; perpetually waiting with bated breath to see if the time would ever come and shatter their misery. Just beyond the clearing he heard the sharp crack of branches and rotted leaves under foot but he remained as relaxed as before, showing no sign on apprehension or dread. There was nothing he could do to escape it and this...Well it was long overdo.

The movement ceased with two swift steps and ended in the woods just ten feet away from the porch. He took a deep breath and brushed absentmindedly at his dark hair as he waited. They were always vigilant in the times they had come to him; cautious but not without reason. There were many who would look to harm them in their rare departure from the pack, the only chance any would have to strike as their every waking minute would be spent with the pack until Death saw it fit to take them.

Too few there were left who could survive Death's inescapable touch. Soon all those around him, human and supernatural alike, would pass on to the unknown and others would take their place until their end. Until the very end. There would be no variation in the incessant cycle, it would remain unbroken until the end of time when all was finished.

Gerard straightened suddenly and clutched the ragged book tightly in his hands, desperately needing its solidness to center himself lest he grow unnerved and anxious with the tension that always seemed to present itself in situations such as these. He felt off balance, as if any little thing could send him toppling over the edge.

"Hello Mavra." The words spilled from his mouth unexpectedly even and calm, all emotions that could possibly rise up inside him seemingly masked by his ever careful facade. The wind had begun to blow ever so gently, cool against his seemingly overheated skin to point it brought chills down his spine and caused his skin to prickle uncomfortably.

"Gerard." She stepped into the direct light, her long onyx coloured tresses surrounding her face in multiple tightly held braids and her caramel skin shining radiantly like others could only hope to achieve in their most unattainable dreams. She moved with quick, purposeful steps but always managed to keep her mate carefully by her side despite his slow, uncoordinated movements. He stood only steps away behind her, his expression was stony but it seemed worn...Almost chipped away at in the time that had passed since he last met with Mavra and her mate who was to always be by her side. Even in the inevitability of their deaths.

Gerard said nothing, waiting patiently for her to proceed. It was how it always went when they came to him in times such as these, not out of want but of absolute necessity that required his utmost attention.

"You know of the deaths plaguing these lands." There was a certainty in her tone, no question about his knowledge of the going ons in the world around him. Even in seclusion word traveled quickly... Though it often seemed not quickly enough. So many had perished as a result of such carelessness.

"Younglings so far as I've seen."

Mavra's lips twitched, almost growing into a sneer before her expression turned to one of complete solemnity. Her dark, russet brown eyes flashed with piercing anger." We thought same until- until we caught the scent of another. An old one. Far more ancient than we've ever come across before."

Gerard arched his eyebrow speculatively and set Les Misérables on the wooden table to his side, rising to his feet cautiously," You don't mean- "

"My companion and I came across it ourselves." Her upper lip curled with disgust and her braids swung violently as she shook her head. "It was a monstrosity. Barely any humanity left in it."

"Is anything else known about this stranger? Or at least, anything you've heard." Gerard asked slowly, as if every word and perfect enunciation was crucial to find anything left know about the matter at hand. Perhaps in some way it was to him, hearing the words form and hang heavily over them all. Letting nothing slip away that might aid them in these troubling times. He waited for whatever answer there might be, that is if there was one.

"Only a name regarding it has reached us. Iero. Frank Iero they say."

Gerard fell onto his bruised knees harshly, the rough wood digging into his skin leaving splinters and creating fresh bruises amongst the old but he barely felt it as the world fell away from around him. Black specks dripped into his vision and caused him to sway as he went light headed with fear and unadulterated shock. He had not heard that name in centuries. That vile, wretched _name_ _._ It trickled over him like poison, echoing in his mind over and over.

"What has come over you?"

The words came over him like a shock from the electricity of today and broke the silent filling his head. He blinked twice, his vision clearing as he became aware of the open world around him. Mavra stood only a mere foot away and her mate, even less, inching closer with bemusement and alarm written closely on their features.

He took a shallow breath and with trembling arms heaved himself onto the bench which blessedly was only a few inches away. Closing his eyes, he massaged his aching temple and attempted to make sense of it all. How could this be? After all these years...After all the misery and remorse he'd felt deeply over the damning mistake that cost him everything, he never expected to ever hear that cursed name again. He never wanted to.

"You know this creature?" Mavra watched him with uninhibited interest, her eyes bright and attentive to every possible answer that he might give. Whatever it was she was eager to hear, his answer would likely be lackluster in comparison. As if there were anything he could possibly say to sum up their very existence.

Gerard stared up into the darkening skies above him, its startling complexity that just hours ago seemed so magnificent and yet almost achingly painful to behold filled him with apprehension and something else...Almost foreign to him in these everlasting days but he knew this sickness just the same, like an ache that only grew with the passing years.

"I knew him once many years ago- At least I thought I did." He felt like a shadow of himself, his mind worn from the stress and unhealed traumas of the past that had come into the light once more. He swallowed hard and picked Les Misérables from its place on his side table." If you'll excuse me, I must begin to...process this information. There is much to think on." For all appearances he seems calm and collected as he had been through out the entirety of this meeting but the distinct waver in his voice tells nothing but the truth and that, he thinks, is the most troubling of all.

An overwhelming sense of dread clung to him- To the entire day and its enlightening but horrifying details. For once he just wished things could be as they were. He wished for the monotone days of the past if only to cling to the only support there was to hold him above the mess that awaited. Senseless it was to wish for what will never be but he couldn't help but feel the same. A certain uncertainty had come his way once more- and it frightened him. Far more than anyone could ever know.

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There was nothing.

There had never been anything...but in the complete and solid darkness that surrounded him he saw all. Saw through the emptiness and into the ghosts of a past life he knew once a upon time. Now he wasn't so sure. He felt utterly cold inside, an iciness that not even the brightest of days could smother. These days there seemed to be little bright days to be had. An ominous shadow had settled over everything he once held dear and cast a tormenting darkness on all that had given him comfort in his weakest moments. He was completely and utterly alone in this struggle against not only himself but the one being left on this planet's face that he had truly felt connected to.

Against _him._ All of this...because of _him._ It seemed that he could be found everywhere Gerard went, a haunting vision that loomed silently as he struggled to find a place to call his own in this so often bleak and forbidding world. He desperately tried to turn his mind to other things, to attempt to hold on to any semblance of stability that kept him mostly whole, but it only drifted back once more to that day...to _him._ How foolish it had been to believe that he had ever cared for him. To believe that a creature as wretched as Frank was capable of loving another. He'd given his heart to Frank Iero in a gesture marked in innocent naivety and even centuries later it seemed that he had not yet recovered the shattered remains that were left of that day. Of everything he'd lost.

He lost his life; his _humanity_ and all of it for Frank. He'd have done anything for him...Anything to keep him from leaving. But in the end it didn't matter anyways. It was the way of the old ones to string along naive humans; unsuspecting and wide eyed too often they were to the twisted nature of the ones they cared deeply for- perhaps even loved and it was that flaw that the old ones saw potential in. Potential to suck the very emotion and spirit from their humans until they were left alone in a world they no longer belonged to. He'd seen it countless times and it dawned upon him that it would surely have become his fate as well if not for his well intentioned but foolish deal with Death.

Gerard shuddered and tugged the woolen blanket closer around his shivering body. It seemed that no matter how many blankets he surrounded himself with he could never find warmth. The iciness that filled his insides had only grown stronger with the time passing and soon it would become entirely inescapable. It was the inevitability of their situation that made it almost unbearable. To know that soon he'd come face to face with the one who spurned him all those centuries ago. He had no say in the matter.  
..In truth it seemed he never had a choice at all. Perhaps Frank had planned to be so. Time had a way of only healing some wounds. Others were left to fester and become infected by the strands of time. It seemed plausible enough but what reason could he possibly have to hold such a grudge against Gerard? After all there was nothing lost for him in the wreckage of their disastrous affair. He made it abundantly clear that Gerard meant absolutely nothing to him and that it was best they 'went their separate ways'.

For the very first time in a year all his troubles seemed overwhelmingly obvious. Pieces of an unwanted but necessary puzzle and yet he'd never felt more confused in the centuries he'd lived through; even in his more naive years he'd been able to find some type of semi- permanent solution to the troubling circumstances at hand. It was almost as if he'd lost himself in the misfortune that followed him through these often dark months. The misfortune Frank had directly caused in coming to the lands Gerard called home.

Out of all his newly acquired 'information' only one thing could he be certain of. There was a reason for this...All of this. Frank surely knew he was here and all of this was merely his way of taunting Gerard; the knowledge of his existence obvious if he only just looked. He was the darkness that Gerard sensed all those months ago, the monumental factor that would change everything he knew as fact. That he could be sure of.

He swayed threateningly as he struggled to find his way through to his bedroom before he fell into the caliginous pit that awaited deep down below. His only light a single lit candle sitting on a side table, amongst the faded and forgotten memories he'd only thought to capture years after their departure. Even through the blur and heaviness that slowed all he could possibly comprehend he stopped at the doorway of his bedroom, peering in cautiously as if anyone or _anything_ could attack him at any moment. They'd proven after all that they had no qualms about entering his home just to send him into a panic.

Gerard took careful steps though with each and every one he felt himself growing weaker. Every step was agony not only on his aching body but his mind as well. It took a tremendous amount of effort and will just to try and make it to his bed without falling completely and utterly apart. This day had been disastrous in more ways than one and its details damning, never in the entirety of his lengthy life had he been so exhausted.

He felt himself sinking, sinking, _sinking..._ Deep into the comforting abyss that awaited him when he finally closed his eyes for what would likely be the last time in the months to come. Even in the beginning stages of his sleep cycle the inklings of unease and dread that resided within him were evident. In the recent months he'd begun to _dream_ again; the darkest times of his miserable life on display once more in the one place he couldn't control. They were always so _vivid_ in the worst way that could be possible. It brought back memories of a time he tried so desperately to forget lest he lose touch with all that he knew and fall deep down where he would surely never emerge.

Perhaps that was Frank's intentions after all. To cause Gerard's inevitable downfall in the most horrific style possible to a cruel mind such as his. He'd break him utterly and completely as some type of muddled revenge for whatever he thought Gerard to blame for. As absolutely awful as it seemed, he couldn't help but just feel drained. After all he'd been through in the last few centuries, he just wanted this to be over. _All of it to be over._

He'd come to rue the day he met Frank Iero so long ago at the port. Looking back, he'd realised that there was little doubt that the outcome could have ever been different. Gerard been ensnared from the very beginning. From their initial encounter to their last moment together before Frank threw him to the streets like common filth. He'd so bright eyed- _eager_ and desperate for anything exciting and unlike he'd ever seen before. Frank had been so much more- or at least it seemed so at the time. He'd let himself be blinded by the appearance Frank used ever so carefully to hide the poisonous being that lurked just below the surface.

But he wouldn't allow himself to be caught under Frank's charade this time. All he'd once been and believed in was gone. Disintegrated by the grim and troubling years that had passed since his misguided deal. There was nothing left of the inexperienced boy he'd once been.

Nothing at all.

 _non_ _dimenticherai_ _presto il_ _mio_ _volto_

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my drafts for almost two years now and I just got around to finishing it. This first chapter is something of introduction for my main character, a look into his world you could say. The actual plot won't start till the next chapter(which will be done soon!)


End file.
